So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
