too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
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