its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I have peed in a lot of sinks
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
