We won't sleep together?
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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