Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize