The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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