she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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