So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
