i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
