im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
