That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
