remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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