she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
