She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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