She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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