That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
one might say we're banned from that church
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
