super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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