You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
