My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
