She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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