just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
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not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
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THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
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