Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Randomize
