look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
