Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
