You're so nebulous sometimes
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
