it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
