Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
