Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
