Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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