Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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