She announced her abortion via fbk
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
