Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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