this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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