I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
that's an acceptable place to lick
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
