I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
