I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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