The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
