Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
