Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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