um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
