After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
