I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
That was an excessively violent trivia night
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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