I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
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