what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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