You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
