I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
