Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Sorry my hands just texted you
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
