The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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