the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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