Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
