Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Randomize
