my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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