yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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