I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize