I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
