I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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