His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I'm at about main and main street
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What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
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IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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