pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I have aggressive nipples.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
