Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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